Worthy…or Entitled? (The Ugly Truth About My Impatience)
"You deserve a break today," the McDonald's commercial famously says. "Because you're worth it," declares a long-running catchphrase from L'Oreal. "Have it your way," Burger King entices us. It recently introduced another slogan along the same lines: "You rule.”
The secular advertising world has always loved to tell us we're owed good things.
This view has also snuck into our churches; many Christians don't even see anything wrong with it. You'll hear believers say things like, "I'm working on my self-esteem" or "I need to learn to love myself."
Certainly, in God's eyes, every single one of us has great dignity and worth. In this sense, the false gospel of self-esteem has a morsel of truth in it—like most of the enemy's deceptions.
This can make it seem reasonable to some who follow Jesus' teachings.
But Jesus never made much of Himself. He laid aside all His rights as the King of the universe and took the form of a bondservant (Philippians 2:7)!
We're perhaps never less like our Lord than when we shamelessly promote our own interests. If anything, it makes us resemble the devil. Self-importance, or pridefulness, was the very sin that got Lucifer cast out of heaven. The most beautiful of the angels, he wanted to elevate himself and be like God (Isaiah 14:12-15).
We'd better believe that God hates it when we're prideful. And all of us are susceptible to it.
The other day, while I was working on a book chapter on the topic of Christlikeness (of all things), God decided to teach me a practical lesson on humility. (Who says He doesn't have a sense of humor?)
My morning had been productive so far, and I was taking a short break from writing to run some errands. At the bakery, I lined up behind a family of three, only to discover that each person had ordered a super-fancy gourmet sandwich with all the extras and add-ons.
Still, there were four employees behind the counter and no other customers in the store, so it shouldn't take long.
That's what I thought, anyway…
As the minutes ticked by, my empty belly started to growl most uncomfortably. The savor of all the baked goodies that filled the air wasn’t exactly helping. Worst of all, none of the workers as much as looked in my direction. What were they doing anyway? It took four people to prepare three sandwiches?
And all I wanted was a bag of bagels.
The backs of the bakery workers remained obnoxiously turned toward me as if I were invisible.
Hel-loo? Over here!?
Not even a nod or a simple hand gesture.
In my mind, I rehearsed what I would say once my turn came up: Well, thanks for acknowledging my existence. You guys are really on it today, aren't ya?
Snarky? Just a little.
But…I deserve it. I'm worth it.
The Holy Spirit corrected me: "Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person" (Colossians 4:6).
Oh. Okay, then.
By the time my turn finally came, the temptation to give the bakery workers a piece of my mind was almost more than I could bear. I was behind schedule now, I was famished, and I had a project to finish. (That chapter on Christlikeness, remember?)
By God's grace, I managed to refrain from speaking what I was thinking. Later, in retrospect, I was glad I hadn't snapped at anyone. Yes, the customer service stunk, but how would I have felt about myself if I'd acted rudely?
I might have felt vindicated for the moment, but later...? Not so much.
Of course, you could argue that by bringing my experience to the management's attention, I could help them take their customer service up a notch. Speaking up is sometimes necessary because if we never do, things aren't likely to change.
But my heart wasn't in the right place. I knew that. Rather than helping, my words would have injured, and the person I would have hurt the most was myself.
Boy, it's remarkable the things we see in hindsight.
Unlike us, God sees everything perfectly all the time. He sees all possible outcomes of every situation: the ones that will occur as a result of our choices and the ones that would have occurred had we chosen differently.
So, when the Bible tells us to be "slow to anger" (James 1:19), we can be sure it's for good reason. In fact, the reason is stated in the very next verse: "Because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
Wow. How clear is that? Anger does not result in righteousness! (This strongly implies that it will likely result in the opposite: unrighteousness!)
As I lay in bed that night, I meditated on the scripture from James and did some soul-searching. And I realized what my real issue was. The reason I had gotten so frustrated at the bakery was that I have an elevated view of myself.
Yep, that was it. That was the honest-to-goodness truth.
In the big picture, of course, the long wait for my bagels was a trivial thing. It wasn't as if the wait had threatened my health. Or my home. Or my life savings. Or the lives of the people I love. And although I was hungry, I wasn't going to fall over and die from starvation.
Besides, (confession time) that morning at the bakery isn't the only time I've found myself excessively irritated over little stuff. What I'm saying is that there's a pattern.
Romans 12:3 is another helpful scripture to contemplate in this context. The verse says we should think of ourselves with sober judgment. This means we adopt God's view of us.
And what exactly is God's view of us? Not that we "deserve it". That's a worldly, humanistic concept.
No, the Bible teaches that we're doubly undeserving!
Firstly, we're undeserving because we're mere creatures. As our Creator, God gets to call all the shots, and you and I don't get to question His governing of our lives (Romans 9:20-21).
Second, we're undeserving because we're sinners. As such, we're not entitled to any of God's earthly or heavenly blessings.
Left to myself, without Jesus' sacrifice, all I deserve is judgment. So, when I think about how much God has given me despite who I am, my heart should spill over with gratitude! I have zero right or reason to complain about anything!
Friend, let's tell it like it is. Isn't it, for the most part, sin in our souls that causes us to get angry or curt with others? It rarely is because we're suffering true injustice at the hands of ill-intentioned people.
Yes, we're worthy. We're worthy because God created us in His image (Genesis 1:27). Jesus wouldn't have given His life for us if we didn't have tremendous intrinsic value.
But this ought to make us humble, not prideful!
When L'Oreal, McDonald's, and the rest of ‘em tell us, "You're worth it" or "You deserve it," you can be sure they aren't referring to our worthiness as divine image-bearers. What they are promoting is a worldly entitlement attitude that isn't becoming for Christians.
We cannot follow the Bible and subscribe to the self-esteem propaganda of humanism. It's one or the other. We pursue our honor and glory, or we pursue God's.
Only when we take these truths to heart can we conquer our prideful impatience and reflect to others the same grace God has given us. Grace, which He showered on us even though we didn't, at all, deserve it.
L.B.
Do you agree that the reason our buttons are often so easily pushed is that we tend to exalt ourselves in our hearts? Why/why not? Please share in the comments section below!
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