Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude and Nip Envy in the Bud
“The grass is always greener on the other side.” We all know the adage and how painfully true it is. We humans have a tendency to look at others, believing their lives or circumstances to be superior to ours. And so, instead of being thankful for what we have, we find ourselves coveting what they have…
Coveting is the enemy of gratitude, and the Bible teaches it’s a sin. The tenth commandment explicitly says, “You shall not covet” (Exodus 20:17).
One problem with peeking over the fence and sizing up our neighbor and her life situation is that we see only part of the picture. We don’t have all the facts.
For example, I may look at the blossoming ministry of a lady in my church and find myself impressed by (read: envious of) her teaching and speaking abilities.
Oh, how I wish I had what she has!
But I would probably see things a little differently if I knew about the difficulties in her marriage and her estranged relationship with her teenage children. I would not want to have her life if I knew the whole story!
In fact, I knew the whole story, I might not even want to have her ministry! Because even though the work she’s doing for God appears exciting (and it certainly is a lot of the time), it’s often stressful and draining.
Another example: I may be envious of my barista’s Barbie doll figure, withing I had curves like hers. But the part I don’t know is that she is incredibly insecure. She struggles with depression, is overly critical of her own appearance, and tries to get validation through unhealthy relationships with men.
You get my point. Things aren’t always the way they look to the casual eye.
This is a big reason we don’t want to fall into comparison traps. It’s a futile exercise that only leads to dissatisfaction.
Sister, God knows each of us perfectly. He knows just the amount of wealth, beauty, success, popularity, or prosperity you and I can handle. This is why, as the saying goes, “He has different strokes for different folks.”
When we complain, compare ourselves to others, and don’t practice gratitude, we fail to honor God in our thinking. We fail to acknowledge God’s sovereignty over our circumstances and His kindness toward us. We’re essentially saying we know better than Him. Romans 9:20 puts into words how absurd this is: “Who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, ‘Why did you make me like this,’ will it?”
Coveting is a tell-tale sign that we’re not mindful of who we are before God. Outside of our identity in Jesus, you and I are not deserving of anything good. We are sinners, and all we deserve is condemnation. Yet God has poured and continues to pour blessing after blessing upon us.
Oh yes. When we stop and think about it, we’ll realize we have an endless list of things to be grateful for. (For one, eternal life comes to mind!)
All that said, let me share a very practical idea with you. This is for any one of us who could stand to get better at practicing gratitude: Start keeping a gratitude journal.
Every day, for the next thirty days, jot down five things you are grateful for. Each time you note something, audibly give thanks to God for it.
Writing down 150 items over the next month may seem like a daunting task, but I promise you it’s not. Remember, you can note the simplest blessings—all the little blessings you and I tend to take for granted: a warm bed, chilled water to drink, chirping birds in the treetops, and having God’s Word at your fingertips. It can be a material thing, a person, an experience…anything.
The point of the exercise is to train ourselves to become more conscious of God’s goodness toward us. And what is so powerful about keeping a gratitude journal and giving thanks this way is that the more you meditate on and express gratitude for God’s blessings, the more blessings you’ll notice!
(In the unlikely event you get stuck and can’t come up with five items on any given day, write down four, or three, or even just one. It’s not the number that’s important but that you stay consistent.)
I can testify from personal experience that getting in the habit of counting your blessings can do wonders for your attitude.
It floods your heart with true gratitude and nips envy in the bud!
The bottom line is this: You and I have no right or reason to covet what other people have. God knows what He’s doing in our individual lives. And He is constantly being good to us, even though we’re entirely undeserving of His goodness and fall short of His standard every hour of every day.
The next time we catch ourselves complaining about our lot in life, coveting what we lack, maybe we should take a step back and try to get a different viewpoint.
Yes, the next time we’re tempted to look over the fence at our neighbor, maybe instead, we should turn our focus to the Cross…
It might help us better keep things in their proper perspective.
L.B.
Do you keep a gratitude journal or gratitude list? Is there anything else that’s helping you maintain an attitude of gratitude? What are you grateful for? Please share in the comments below!
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