Should You Ever Seek Approval from Others? (The Answer May Surprise You)
Does it matter what people think of us?
Some scriptures say it does—that we should seek approval from others—while other scriptures say the opposite.
Well, which is it?
And does this mean the Bible contradicts itself?
Those are two questions I want to tackle today.
Humans are social creatures. We naturally want to be liked and accepted by others. There’s nothing inherently wrong about that, but when our desire for acceptance becomes too important, we run into trouble.
Fear of man then becomes a trap (Proverbs 29:25), an obstacle to faith in God (John 5:44).
Here’s how this reality played itself out in the actions of some of Jesus’ contemporaries: “Many even of the rulers believed in [Jesus], but because of the Pharisees they were not confessing Him, for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the approval of men rather than the approval of God” (John 12:42-43).
The passage talks about some guys who were so worried about losing their popularity that it kept them from being open about their faith. This makes me think of something the apostle Paul wrote. In Galatians 1:10, Paul says we can’t lead a life focused on pleasing man and at the same time be the Lord’s servant.
Okay, so far, so good. Don’t be man-pleasers; be God-pleasers. Not a whole lot of room for misunderstanding there.
However, other Bible verses say it does matter what people think of us! This is where it can get confusing.
The same Paul who stressed that he wasn’t looking for praise from others (1 Thessalonians 2:6) also penned these words: “We have regard for what is honorable, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men” (2 Corinthians 8:21).
And to his protegee Titus, he wrote, “In all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech, which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us” (Titus 2:7-8; emphasis mine).
Finally, to another one of his students, a young pastor named Timothy, Paul said that a person involved in ministry “must have a good reputation with those outside the church” (1 Timothy 3:7).
Then there’s Peter. He similarly instructed believers to “keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame” (1 Peter 3:16).
Not much room for misunderstanding there, either. Whether we are around fellow Christians or nonbelievers, those of us who name the name of Jesus must be mindful of how we carry ourselves. We want others to approve of our speech and actions.
How, then, do we reconcile the two groups of verses: the verses that say we are to look for approval from people and those that say we’re not?
Here’s the bottom line:
Ultimately, it’s God’s, not people’s, opinion of you and me that matters. That’s the first thing. Whenever we have to choose between pleasing God and pleasing man—whenever the two are in opposition—we are to choose the former.
“We must obey God rather than men,” said the apostles when the authorities commanded them to stop sharing the Gospel (Acts 5:29). And they kept on preaching.
Second, it matters how we come across as God’s representatives. What others think of us is important not for our sake but for the sake of the Gospel.
When we go back to some of Peter’s writing, we see clearly that this is what the Bible intends to communicate. “Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles,” Peter says, “so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation” (1 Peter 2:12; emphasis mine).
(Much of the reason Jesus would come down so hard on the Pharisees was because of the motivation behind their actions. Matthew 23:3-7 tells us these Jewish fundamentalists would perform charitable actions not to honor God but so that they would be noticed.)
Our lives, simply put, are to be a testimony to our Creator’s love, power, and holiness. This way, when it’s all said and done—be that soon, later, or in eternity—He’s the one who gets all the glory.
This kind of “man-pleasing” God is all FOR.
So, we see that we can easily reconcile what, on the surface, appears to be a clash between two sets of scriptures. The Bible is not contradicting itself here. Reading the verses in the context of their surrounding paragraphs and chapters makes it obvious what is being communicated in each instance.
All that said, we Christians know that even if we try to live God-exalting lives, people will sometimes still misunderstand our intentions, judge us, or talk badly about us. In fact, you and I may be criticized by unbelievers precisely because we’re being obedient to Jesus!
We shouldn’t let that discourage us, though. Nor surprise us. We should EXPECT it.
Sinful man loves darkness and hates righteousness, so opposition is something you and I can count on (John 3:19).
But when we, like Paul and Peter and the rest of the apostles, make seeking and doing God’s will the chief preoccupation of our lives, we don’t need to be overly concerned about people’s opinions one way or the other. We can have peace of mind, knowing that we can always safely leave the consequences of our obedience to God.
Principle one: obey God over people. Principle two: do your best to represent Him in a way that makes Him look attractive to the watching world, your goal being that others, too, will want to follow Him.
That’s what it all boils down to. That’s the important task before you and me today.
L.B.
Has anyone ever ridiculed, wrongly judged, or persecuted you because of your Christian faith? Do you have any questions or additional insights on this topic? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!
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