This Young Man Is My Greatest Inspiration
I was standing in the doorway to his room, watching Christopher asleep in bed. His treasured journal, a gift I'd gotten him a few months earlier, was next to him on the pillow.
So many thoughts were racing through my head.
For a long time, our family of five had been in crisis mode. Christopher's health—in fact, his very life—had been hanging by a thread. But it seemed the worst was over now, praise God.
Month after month after month, I'd watched in awe as Christopher fought to recuperate from the debilitating swallowing disorder that almost claimed his life.
His recovery had been painstakingly slow, and it continues to this day, three years later.
But Christopher is a fighter and has maintained an incredible attitude through it all. (I always make sure to let him know what a huge inspiration he is to me!)
Here are some important lessons I've learned simply by observing him:
He is quick to forgive. When Christopher was out of imminent danger, and we brought him home from the ER, I remember I sat down on his bed next to him with a big lump in my throat and asked him to forgive me.
As his new bonus mom, I felt responsible. Could my husband and I have been more on top of it? Could we have pushed the doctors to do more sooner? Had we truly done everything we could have done, and quickly enough?
Christopher had suffered so much pain for so long, and it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I couldn't help but second-guess myself.
When I asked for his forgiveness, Christopher, who was so frail at the time he could barely sit upright, mustered all his strength, slowly lifted his pale little hand, and gave me the thumbs-up.
From his loving, accepting look, I knew he meant it. I knew he would never hold any mistakes I might have made against me.
That's how Christopher rolls.
Like anyone else, he can get upset or irritated. He may shush you if you over-prompt him or throw a tantrum on a rare occasion if he feels disrespected. But moments later, he's over it and acts as if nothing happened.
It's impressive how easily he lets go of stuff and how much kindness he has for everyone. Unlike many of us who don't have any developmental or physical disabilities, Christopher doesn't hold grudges. I try to consider his example any time I struggle with unforgiveness: If he, suffering from severe autism, can forgive so quickly and love so unconditionally, what's my excuse not to?
He knows how to live in the moment. Not having the usual responsibilities, commitments, and demands of a young man his age, Christopher goes about life at a much different pace than the rest of us.
If anyone has mastered the art of being present in the here and now, it’s him. He’s so present, in fact, that when he has made up his mind that he's going to complete a project, it makes no difference what time of day or night it is or how long it will take him to do it.
This explains how he can be sitting on the toilet, drawing, for three hours. Or why we've found him journaling under the bedcovers at 4 a.m. Or why he may sneak up in the middle of the night, while everyone else is asleep, to play with his model trains (and sometimes keep at it until one of us wakes up and happens to catch him).
Oh, yes, he can be mischievous too! ;-)
Christopher moves much more slowly now than before he got sick, which can be challenging for the rest of us. Like if we're going to church or the movies or we have a dinner reservation, and my husband Don, David, Michael, and I are all waiting at the front door, but Christopher keeps stalling…
Or if it's past Christopher's bedtime and, despite many prompts, he still hasn't made an effort to finish the food you gave him hours earlier, but you also don't want to send him to bed hungry.
On the other hand, constantly having to adjust my pace to Christopher's has been a valuable learning experience.
For as long as I can remember, I've been a pedal-to-the-metal kind of girl who has sworn by goal sheets, checklists, and appointment books. I've always thrived on deadlines and strived for productivity and measurable progress.
I still value those things. But becoming Christopher's bonus mama and supporting him through his recovery has meant I've had to slow down a bit and try to be more patient. My schedule today is a lot less rigid than it used to be. And I'm happier and healthier as a result.
In short, Christopher has taught me to be more deliberate about living in the moment, to dial back my expectations a little, and to try to take things as they come—lessons this recovering workaholic sorely needed.
He knows how to enjoy the little things. I don't know anyone who's as full of joy as Christopher. Often, I'll be in the kitchen, and he'll be in his room watching TV, and I'll hear him across the house laughing his head off at Tom & Jerry, Bubble Guppies, or Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Or I'll go check on him and find him listening to music while playing air guitar and smiling from ear to ear.
Or the two of us will be out for a walk, and suddenly, he'll start chuckling. Because he is mainly non-verbal and won't communicate with me why he's laughing, I can only assume he's thinking about something funny. (Christopher has a fabulous sense of humor!)
Heck, he even laughs while he swims, which makes me worry he's swallowing too much pool water!
It takes so little to make Christopher happy. Give him a fun activity and one of his favorite foods (cheese rice, fried potatoes, or sardines with mayo), and he's perfectly content in his own company for hours. Put on a catchy song, and he'll get up and start dancing like nobody's watching.
Many of us could stand to be a bit more like that, would you agree? To take the time to enjoy the little things—simple, everyday blessings—and just be thankful for what we have?
At the time of this writing, Christopher's teeth are still being regularly worked on as the gastroesophageal reflux disease that triggered his swallowing condition caused all of his teeth to decay. Every single tooth requires either multiple fillings or a crown. As you can imagine, it’s a grueling, long-drawn-out procedure.
However, as usual, Christopher is staying remarkably positive through it all.
Also, as usual, Christopher's won't-be-beat attitude amid his challenges is a good reminder for me to be more grateful and complain a little less…
If you ever get to meet him—and I hope you do—I think you, too, will find him to be an inspiration! :-)
L.B.
Click here for more of Christopher’s story of victory.
Who’s your greatest inspiration? Share in the comments section right below!
If you got value from this post, feel free to use the social media share buttons to share it with others!
