Biblical Sexuality: Why Does God Tell Us to Wait till Marriage?
If there's one biblical view that causes eye rolls today in our secular Western society, it's the view that one should practice sexual abstinence before marriage.
And if you're brave enough to stand up for this view in a secular environment? Expect ridicule.
Just ask the Christian participant on the TV show “First Dates Hotel.”
The young man, who was a virgin, stated in an interview that he thought there should be something "precious and beautiful" about sex.*
"You can either have something now, which is on the table and it's a can of soup," he said. "Or you can be patient and wait for this awesome steak. And why would you give up steak for soup, tell me?"
Not surprisingly, this stirred up a storm of clever comments across social media. "Have plenty of soup first," quipped one Twitter user, "then have your steak."
Of course, in the eyes of many in our morally confused culture, it's absurd that anyone would advocate sexual abstinence, willingly depriving themselves of excitement and pleasure.
What the world is failing to see, though—because it is lacking in spiritual discernment—is that God didn't create romantic relationships so that a person can have "both, and". God created us humans so that we cannot “have plenty of soup first" without it affecting our ability to enjoy our steak dinner later…
And if we want the VERY best possible experience of that steak? Then, we're going to have to lay off the soup entirely!
The Christian on the dating show had it exactly right. You can have a cheap substitute now, OR you can wait till marriage and have the very best in God's perfect timing.
What you cannot have, is BOTH.
The unsaved heart refuses to understand or accept this. Enslaved to its appetites (ironically, all in the name of "sexual freedom"), the world looks and lusts as if there's no tomorrow.
In most circles today, sexual intimacy outside of marriage is seen as a legitimate way to "express yourself," get your physical and emotional needs met and help determine long-term compatibility between potential future spouses. (That, even though studies consistently show that premarital sex exponentially increases the likelihood of a person’s marriage ending in divorce.)
Gone is any stigma. What was taboo only a couple of generations ago is now viewed as perfectly normal and acceptable.
But, again, God has a different take on sex. The Bible teaches that the physical coming together of a husband and wife is a picture of Jesus' spiritual union with His bride, the Church.
For this reason, sex is sacred.
This may explain a thing or two about why the devil has always been hell-bent on perverting human sexuality, trying to turn that which is a beautiful expression of committed love into something cheap and commonplace.
Back when I was in high school, one of my teachers shared a great analogy with her class of what it's like to engage in a string of pre-marital sexual relationships.
This was a secular public school environment, and I'm not sure what prompted the courageous Mrs. Olsen to divert from the subject of English grammar to give a group of hormonal fifteen-year-olds a morality lesson.
What she shared with us, her students, that day made such an impression on me that I still remember it over three decades later.
Mrs. Olsen grabbed a stack of yellow sticky notes and held it up in front of the class: "If we take a new, fresh sticky note and attach it to something, it will adhere without a problem," she said.
She stuck a note to her desk, then ripped it off.
"We can easily remove it, but when we do, there’ll be a small amount of residue left where the note was. If we take the sticky and keep attaching it to different items, it's going to leave a little bit of residue behind in every place, every time. In the end, the adhesion won't be sticky enough for the note to attach to anything.
"What happens to our soul when we engage in sex before marriage is similar. Something that belongs to us is ripped off and left with the person we were intimate with. Even if the relationship ends and we move on, a piece of us is left with that former sexual partner.
"This, in turn, affects our ability to bond romantically with the next person. And the more premarital sex we have, the less capable we become of forming a healthy, romantic, life-long relationship with a potential future spouse. The reason is that we've left so much of ourselves behind in so many different places..."
I think she brought the point home. :-)
Sure, sexual sin may be fun for a season, but like anything else that is not of God, it will only hurt us in the end.
And although God is a God of forgiveness and redemption who promises to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9) and remove our sins as far as the East is from the West (Psalm 103:12), He doesn't want us to have to experience the painful consequences that inevitably result from sexual sin.
Which is why He has given us guidelines in this area in His Word.
When we bare our bodies, we also bare our souls. In a husband-and-wife union, because it’s permanent, we can do both without risk of abandonment. (Obviously, this is not always the reality, but it is God's ideal.) This is one of the reasons God tells us to wait till marriage.
The Bible (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) says that you and I are not our own; we were bought at a price, and we are to honor God with our bodies.
We honor God with our bodies when we stay sexually abstinent until marriage. In doing so, we also honor ourselves, the person we choose not to be intimate with, his future wife, and our own future husband.
And if the guy we decide not to have sex with turns out to be the one God leads us to wed? Well, then, even less reason to rush sex! We'll have the rest of our lives to enjoy physical intimacy together as a couple! By waiting till marriage, we also demonstrate a special commitment to and respect for our partner.
Friend, let's not give the world permission to squeeze us into its mold. Not even if it ridicules us for our convictions.
Let's "flee youthful lust" (2 Timothy 2:22) and keep in mind that God doesn't want "even a hint of sexual immorality" among His children (Ephesians 5:3).
As for all the talk about "sexual freedom"? Rest assured, it's just another one of Satan's counterfeits. The only place that sexual freedom can exist is within the boundaries of God's will.
L.B.
Can you think of other reasons to stay celibate until marriage in addition to the ones I already mentioned? Share in the comments section below!
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*Source: Twitter Goes Wild After Christian Virgin Compares Sex To A Can Of Soup On Hit TV Show
